Effin’ Bad Language
My two-year-old repeats everything I say. She has an excellent vocabulary and speaks in full, and often remarkable, sentences. I do not refrain from using “big” words with her. My theory is that the more she hears them, the more she will become familiar with them. However, I do refrain from little words, those little four letter words.
It has not been easy. Perhaps it is because I am a New Yorker or just a very expressive person, but I curse a lot (or if you are from another U.S. region, cuss or swear.) My most favorite curse word is fuck, followed by shit. The other day, my daughter said, “Fuck it.” I convinced her that the correct term is, “Chuck it!” I have to become more diligent in my restraint. I use fuck as an adjective, noun, and adverb, in all its glorious forms. Well, I used to. Now, I say eff. When I worked with teenagers, I used to say freak or freakin’, as well as, shi-at, bi-atch, and crap, but these modified curses don’t go over with a toddler who will sound like a drunkin’ sailor using them, even if they are not technically “bad” words. Instead, I have to truly soften the words to mere letters. Everything is eff and effin’. This morning, I picked up a pot forgetting it was hot and shouted out, “Eff me!” I sound like an effin’ idiot.
Some people argue that cursing children are cute. These people do not have kids. It is enough to keep children from yelling in obscene decibels at restaurants, let alone cursing. You know what’s cute? Polite kids who say “Please” and “Thank you.”
All of this makes me wonder though, does refraining from cursing make me a better person? The etiquette inclined might think so. Scientific research has shown that yelling out curse words in moments of extreme pain, actually provides some relief. Am I only further repressing my identity as I have already been called upon to do time and again as a mom? Am I taking on the pain instead of just letting it out with a good shout of “Fucking shit!”? This is just another sacrifice that a mother has to make for her children. One day, when she is old enough to understand, I’ll teach her the concept of a time and place for everything, then we will both be able to appreciate the proper use of screaming the word, “Asshole!” at bad drivers.
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