Only Child
At a baby shower recently, some moms were sitting around discussing how exhausting infants and young toddlers are and how grateful they are to be “done.” They had two, a boy and a girl. When I also expressed that I was “done.” They were shocked and joked that I had to meet the status quo of at least two children. Though it was complimentary (I think) that they felt I “seemed like the type to have more,” they could not quite explain what that meant. Am I too maternal for just one? On the way home, I grew a little upset thinking about it.
What is the stigma against one child? I am content and, like them, can not see myself doing it again. I am young still, and I don’t claim to know what life will bring, but as of now, I have no plans to have more. I am happy and grateful with my beautiful daughter, the joy and challenges she brings, and I know she can’t stay young forever, but that is even more reason to enjoy each moment with her as fully as possible. Before I could even think of having another child, I would have to feel completely capable of giving myself equally to both of them, and that’s a lot less left over to give myself.
I think people who want everyone else to have more than one child should consider why they feel that way, but not let the mom who has chosen to have just one know how you feel about it. Perhaps it is a fertility issue or a genetic issue or a financial issue. While it is none of these for me, I would rather people not question my choices, but instead listen to them and learn. And I will try to do the same.
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