The Public Boob
Double the Fun
A bill just passed in Washington state protecting mothers, breastfeeding in public, from discrimination charges. It seems odd that women should have to be protected from doing the most fundamentally instinctive act of survival, feeding their child. Some people want moms to hide in bathroom stalls as if you would want to eat your lunch in the bathroom. I imagine that the desire to avoid seeing a woman breastfeed is a leftover from Puritan pilgrims, but we live in a society where girls wear hoochie shorts and belly tops, where half naked women are all over the covers of magazines, and I won’t even mention what you can find on the Internet. My solution is for all people who are bothered by seeing a woman breastfeed to do the opposite; get an eyeful of breastfeeding women, look at photos, watch them on buses, seek them out and dive right in (not literally). This is the only way that you’ll get over it.
I have to be honest, I am not the type to whip out my boob in public. Don’t get me wrong, I have great boobs, I just don’t feel comfortable with anyone but my husband looking at them. I still have yet to get a professional bra fitting and my breasts hate me for it. I remember when my daughter was first born, I was struck with anxiety (okay, the hormone fluctuations didn’t help) with how I would maneuver breastfeeding in public. At some time, we all have to do it. There is always a point where that screaming co-dependent being needs food and you couldn’t be in a more awkward location. I am of the lift-your-shirt party. Hey, it might show my post-natal belly, but it hides the breast. This, of course, narrows my wardrobe choices down to baggy shirts and cancels all hope of wearing a sundress. I highly admire moms who pull down their neckline and pull out their boob, feeding baby shamelessly. I think, “Wow, that’s beautiful,” as I avert my eyes.
Breastfeeding makes people uncomfortable because they don’t know what to do with their eyes. This is especially difficult for some men who already work so hard not to stare at your breasts. I have one male friend who just has no idea how to act when a woman is nursing in front of him. His intense attempts at avoiding seeing anything usually results in the opposite, a prime nipple glare.
Let’s face it, the nipple is sacred. Banned from the public, the nipple has spent its life in hiding. Yes, because it is associated with sexual arousal, but also because it feeds babies. We were all babies at one point or another. It is said that boys have a more difficult time weening from the breast than girls do. Perhaps they know subconsciously that it will be their last breast until junior high and even then they will never own it as they once did their mother’s. It begs the question, do men have nipple envy? I have wished that I could pee standing up countless of times. Do men wish that they could nourish a child from their bodies alone? Do they want to ban women breastfeeding to avoid facing these uncomfortable feelings?
How about women who don’t want to see other women breastfeeding in public? My guess is either, they never breastfed or they were fanatical about avoiding public places when they did. Perhaps, they too are envious, seeing a woman perform her motherly duty to her child that they were unable to for a good reason or chose not to for a stupid reason. The argument is often: be discreet, cover up. But after the old shawl-on-the-shoulder trick for several months, hassling with the positioning, pinning it back awkwardly with your armpit, you get over it fast.
Photos disturb people even more because they can stare. They don’t have to avert their eyes and in doing so, all those scary, creepy feeling surface and they are forced to face them… or just ban the photos from Facebook, so they don’t have to.
My daughter is 16 months old and I still breastfeed. While I have no intention of stopping anytime soon, I haven’t breastfed in public for over three months. It’s a private time between her and I now that I covet, that I earned. And to all those who saw my boob and felt uncomfortable: no apologies. Deal with it!
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Breastfeeding, In Related News | admin March 7, 2009
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By Megan, March 7, 2009 @ 8:49 pm
Good post. I’m surprised. I would of thought you’d be a pull down your top and pop it out mom. I’m really surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed bf Otto. Thanks for posting.