Breast-feeding, cell-using driver charged

Do you remember when your newborn needed to be fed every two hours and, on the rare occasion that you left your house, those awkward moments when there wasn’t any suitable place in sight to do so? Maybe you were willing to do the bathroom stall thing. Perhaps you were one of the brave ones, whipping out your boob while standing in the checkout line. My back-up plan was always the car. I had to traipse back to the parking lot, but at least I could sit comfortably and listen to music. One woman took the idea of nursing in the car to an extreme. Sounds like a multi-tasker gone awry. Read more »

Volcano

I climbed a volcano today
to give you fire. Fearlessly
because the molten river crumbled
beside me, my rubber soles

immobile and melting over
hollow black rocks, my lungs burning
from the smoke pyre that billowed
out of the livid mountain core.

Over my shoulder, the sun set Read more »

25 Things

The list of 25 things has become quite a fad since it’s introduction on Facebook. I leapt on the chance to write a list about myself as it fanned by narcissism, but I soon realized there is another list, perhaps more therapeutic than narcissistic, that I would like to write. I decided there is no better forum than right here at AlsoKnownAsMom.com.

25 Ways My Life has Changed Since Having a Child

1. I no longer drink, smoke or do drugs.
2. If my husband and I want to go out together alone, we must schedule it with a third-party, AKA a babysitter.
3. Otherwise, we are all home by 8 p.m.
4. I would rather be home by 5 p.m. to make dinner and give my daughter a bath before bed.
5. Actually, I’d rather just stay home instead. Read more »

Poetry

I’ve decided to add some poetry to this blog mix. While preggers, I wrote lots of poems, perhaps in anticipation of how few I would write later. I put them together into a chapbook to share with friends. I will post one at a time here, intermittently,  in the order they go in. If anyone is interested in getting a complete copy of the chapbook titled, Gestation, contact me here and I will send one off to you.

Early Symptoms

Perfect pregnancy is formulaic, prepared
months ahead; first a house, then a goat,
a garden, friends with children. All smoking
and drinking ceased. At least two more years
of young marriage. A feeling described as “ready.”

The house felt cold that morning. I wore
thick socks and fleece sweaters. Sunlight
limited to low southern windows; the only
snow left hid in shadows. I considered
how many months before the light again.
Two lines, pink, innocent, appeared
immediately, to tell me unquestionably. Read more »

Snotty Nosed Kids

What is it with babies and snot? Since becoming a mother, I now equate winter with snot, just after snow and chopping wood. Little crusty, drippy noses abound. My daughter got her first cold last month and I chased after her with a tissue until she finally went from head wagging irritation to complete resignation. It seemed like there was snot everywhere as she wiped it from nose to hand, from hand to toy, toy to couch. Read more »

Music Appreciation

My 16 month-old daughter is a great musician, not because she likes to strum my guitar or bang on my drum, not even because she likes to bang pot lids in a loud rhythm against the kitchen floor. She is more a musician of the synthesizer sort. Read more »

OctoMom: Super Mom or Super Psycho?

OctoMom, as she has been coined by the media, has united the country in anger over her lack of economic discretion and seemingly obsessive need to have more children than fries in a Happy Meal. I don’t even know where to begin. I can safely infer from this news story that this woman has some serious psychological issues. Read more »

Cloth or Paper?

If you’re like me, you knew from the very start that you would use cloth diapers. Even though your mom could not understand why you would revert to such antiquated tactics and argued that what you saved in trash you wasted in water, you still could not commit to adding to the nasty refuse that piles up endlessly on land and sea. I explained to my mother: we’re not talking about folding cloths like origami napkins and pinning them on with ginormous safety pins (ouch!). Nowadays, they come with snaps and covers and liners and pretty colors and various fancy means for making the option easier. And, hey, I have a washer and dryer in my house, a blessing that needs to be gratefully returned to planet earth.

It was not long before reality set in. Read more »

Read it Again, Mom

How many times can you read The Jolly Barnyard before a tick develops that causes you to cluck intermittently while conversing? How many times can you read These Are My Hands before you begin announcing your body parts to grocery clerks? How many times can you read Red Fish Blue Fish before you begin speaking in rhyme at the post office? I have tested these theories and have found that, although mommies may feel like we are incurring these oddities, no one else seems to notice. Read more »